Monday, 31 May 2010

May Thoughts

17 may, 22:48

It seems that when I have had the inclination to post,
 I have not had the time.
When I have had the time I have not had the inclination.
I've thought about it a lot... but not put thought into action.
I have written, but not completed my train of thought...

23 may, 22:02

I've spoken to a few people 
who i have not contacted for a while...
each one has semi rebuked me for not being in touch.
Err... excuse me, am I the only one with a phone?
 Isn't communication a two-way thing?
So why is it just me who hasn't rung?

28 may, 23:22

 I haven't wanted to, perhaps they sense this... perhaps.
They are people I have been close to over the years,
 but the relationship generally consists of 
them talking & me listening,
though they would not recognise it as such. 
They are lovely people. They could do with my support.
But I put off phoning because I know
 I need at least an hour (or two) to listen...
It has become something I ought to do, rather than want to do.
 For a long time I have not been fulfilled
 by merely being supportive.
Friendship is a two-way thing... 

28 may 23:58

If they were boyfriends I'd end it saying 'It's not you, it's me' 
After all, it is me that's changed not them...
but it's different with friends.

Perhaps this annoyance was a pmt thing...
Maybe we can re-balance or maybe we have run our course,
time will tell....

Sunday, 30 May 2010

April Thoughts

25 april

Full moon approaches
insights move in & out of focus
different perspectives emerge

I've been back in my 'home' area for 18 months & i've barely seen anyone I know from my previous life... recently I keep catching sight of people or bumping into them, people from years ago... I've wondered if these are hints to reconnect... or are there lessons to learn.... or things still to let go.
Maybe I am now more open... maybe i have hidden myself... 

Circumstances removed me from circulation... took me away from everyone & everything I once knew. I needed 'time off'... chance to re-group & re-assess. I've grown my inner Self... my connection to Nature, to Spirit, to the Web of Life. Although I feel so very much more connected, at the same time I feel apart from much that goes on. Life is much simpler now. I like it like this. Maybe seeing these people is a reminder, a confirmation of how far i have moved on...

[for some reason i wrote this & never came back to post it, no doubt i had some major point i wanted to add which now eludes me!]