Who's Tara?

Things have changed since I first started this blog... at the time I was getting some bad bouts of pmt & emotions all over the place... for a few hours or days at a time. This was a place to run to as i began to unravel my emotional tangle... and i looked to the moon for inspiration & support. Taranova is an online identity I have used for some time, and i felt comfortable using that name... 

This is a copy of what I put in the side bar about me...  it doesn't fit any more, but I want to keep it as a reminder for now... 
Wish I knew. Tara isn't even my real name. I don't know 'me' at times & I need somewhere to search. When I feel like this I need to write. I need to be able to express my feelings, usually concerning myself or my nearest & dearest. But I can't say it in my regular blog... they read it.

It's not that I can't tell them. Just not now. Not yet. I need to spill privately before I can vocalise it. So, why have a public blog if it's private? Maybe I want validation? Sympathy? I don't think so... that's not like me. But then I'm not behaving like me, so maybe it is.

I think more than anything I want to share... but I don't know who with. I can't ring my best mate when i think she's an arsey bitch. Today. Tonight. Whenever. Knowing full well that I'll love her tomorrow. I can't sob to my fella that he expects me to do everything & is everything I don't want. When he doesn't & isn't. And I'll love him tomorrow. And don't get me started on 'the family'.

Get the picture? I don't want sympathy, I'm sorry enough for myself. A bit of empathy maybe, if you feel it. But don't pretend. I don't need validation. I know far more women feel far worse, more often, for much longer. But share if you want to. Really want to, not 'ought' to. And tomorrow we can laugh about it. Maybe even right now. Cos I'm starting to smile at myself already. But just wait 'til next month!"

Huh! A scary place back then at times... but as soon as i acknowledged it & began to work things through it eased... I began to feel more sociable & started Moondreamin', keeping this as my more private space for when i need to sort out my muddles and it has evolved some... as things do. So... if you are still reading, welcome, & thank you for sharing my explorations!