A comment from ari on my last post set me thinking... we've emailed, and one of my comments, to myself as much as to her was;
"I think the answer is to keep pouring love & compassion into it... and trust that eventually we/they recognise what 'it' is exactly. In fact i'm sure of it... now to practice what i preach... it has worked before but sometimes get too caught up.... i can't choose how someone acts but i can choose how i let it affect me, as they say!"
And so i have been applying my words... sending healing love & compassion to the way we can react to each other.
3rd november, 08:50
Since this round of pmt began, about a year ago now, I have at times got myself really worked up about certain aspects of my partners personality & his reactions to certain ways i act when i'm pmt-ish. It's not every time, and when it occurs over dark/new moon i can be more over-sensitive than usual. Part of it is habitual, i'm sure, but there is something underlying to trigger it. I have a 23-26 day cycle and have hit my 'danger zone' these last two months.
8th december, 17:34
It seems the light & compassion has been filtering through. Ok, i was ready for it... i was aware of the phase and where i was in my cycle... but nothing happened. A flicker, i nearly took the bait, but the urge subsided without rising. He almost blew up, then laughed. Nothing. No voice of unreason. I was thankful. I kept pouring the compassion.
Decembers new moon... i thought i'd miss the danger zone, but i went a few days longer than usual. A slight flare up, but it sank back down... it seemed there was nothing there to feed it... i continue to be thankful... and am hopeful that this issue is close to being resolved.